"I would rather not be wearisome to you" Saint Augustine' as preacher

Abstract

"What business is it of mine to be wearisome to people; to say to the wicked, 'Don't act wickedly, act like this, stop acting like that'? What business is it of mine to be burdensome to people? I have received instructions how I should live; let me live as I have been told to, as I have been commanded. Let me sign for what I have received; why should I give an account for others? The gospel terrifies me; because nobody could outdo me in enjoying such anxiety-free leisure. There is nothing better, nothing more pleasant to search through the divine treasure chest with nobody making a commotion; it is pleasant, it is good. But to preach, to refute, to rebuke, to build up, to manage for everybody, that is a great burden, a great weight, a great labour. Who would not run away from this labour? But the gospel terrifies me" (s 339,4). Thus Augustine addresses his flock on one of the anniversary days of his bishop's ordination, in which year we do not know. He might have been still young, deploring his lost monastic freedom and peace and not yet having come to terms with the hustle and bustle of the manifold duties of a bishop. If he was already old he was certainly tired of a lifelong battle against the sins and failures of those entrusted to him as a pastor, yearning for repose in order to care only for his own peace of soul.