And they lived happily ever after : the story of being married for thirty years : a narrative study of heterosexual married men

Abstract

This qualitative study provides an understanding of the factors that contribute to long-lasting marriage. It looks at the stories told by four men who have been married for longer than thirty years. This was done using the biographic Narrative Interpretive Method (BNIM) of interviewing developed by Wengraf (2006). The data gathered was analysed using thematic examined using thematic analysis, and six main themes emerged: the mind-set before marriage, the sharing of beliefs and values, the crises experienced, conflict management, transitions, as well as having a positive perspective. The findings in the study showed that the attitude with which a person gets married will affect his marriage in general, that sharing the same beliefs and values helps the married couple to work together, and that crises are inevitable, so it is crucial that spouses do not let them influence their marriage. Conflicts also cannot be avoided, and the manner through which the spouses managed disputes, was given importance. What the couples argued about also seemed to leave an impact on the couple. Additionally, communication is revealed to be another factor for a long-lasting marriage, as well as the way transitions are tackled by the couple. Finally, the general perspective towards life and their marriage, was also seen as fundamental. In fact, this research shows how maintaining a positive perspective helps to make a marriage long-lasting.