Exploring the experiences of non-heterosexual women in heterosexual marriages : therapeutic considerations

Abstract

This qualitative study focuses on the experiences of non-heterosexual women (NHW) in heterosexual marriages, with implications for counselling practice and advocacy. Thematic analysis carried out through a critical feminist lens found that intersectional experiences created a unique identity exploration for a seemingly homogenous group. Semi-structured interviews were held with five NHW, four therapists and one lawyer. Participants were recruited through purposeful and snowball sampling. While NHW contributed through their personal experiences, service providers gave further contextualisation for local policy makers, organisations and mental health professionals. The findings suggest that there are currently no spaces for women to meet other NHW. Participants underlined a need for safety and support through others who shared the same experience, demonstrating the lack of social groups available for NHW. Furthermore, findings also suggest deeper issues around labels, societal pressures on women, gendered social expectations, patriarchal structures adopted within the gay community and negative connotations with the term "lesbian." Recommendations elicited from the research were split into four categories; for practice; for training; for policy; and for raising awareness. For counselling practice, counsellors should be mindful of biases and working on client goals, readiness to work with helplessness and ambivalence, focusing on the therapeutic relationship and helping to process loss. Recommendation for counselling training include a deeper understanding of individuals in mixed-orientation marriages, and supervision tailored for working with sexual minorities. Therapists could also incorporate the unifying multidimensional model of sexual identity development adopted in this research into their work with NHW. For policy, recommendations include education about homosexual lifestyles, and for educators to focus on helping students to develop a sense of Self in schools. Finally, there is a need for awareness on life after heterosexual marriage for NHW, and on dealing with such life transitions. Social justice and advocacy could be further strived towards by, for instance, trying to reclaim the word “lesbian” and by helping to give it a new meaning. These findings were forwarded to two local organisations; the Malta Association for the Counselling Profession and the Malta Gay Rights Movement.