The role of emotions in gay men’s construction and presentation of identities

Abstract

This study adopts a queer phenomenological approach to explore the link between emotions and gay identities and how these social constructs exert an influence on each other in a heteronormative environment. In-depth semi-structured interviews were conducted with twelve gay men aged between 20 and 43 years. The participants shared their personal experiences by referring to photos which depicted significant stages in their lives. During the interviews they were asked to share their own perceptions about masculinity, gay identities and emotion.

The data was analysed using Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis (IPA). The majority of the participants associated positive emotions with social relationships that include friends, family members and romantic partners. Most participants preferred to hide their true emotions in public, in fear that these will be used against them. The family’s emotional climate was found to heavily influence where and with whom the participants felt comfortable expressing their emotions. The majority of the participants preferred opening up with close friends or therapists instead of family members, possibly because they were ‘trained’ to hide their ‘feminine’ aspects.

Positive emotions were also associated with success and advancements at work. Many of the participants managed their emotions at the workplace to safeguard their position there. They also ‘toned down’ or hid their gay identities at work to escape the repercussions that are linked with occupying a stigmatised identity. Those who participated in this research felt that it was more socially acceptable for gay men to express their emotions in public because they are perceived to be more ‘feminine’. These participants were however aware that ‘straight-acting’ men seemed to be privileged in the local gay community. ‘Straight-acting’ men were not only perceived as more ‘desirable’ but could also easily ‘pass’ or hide their stigmatised identity. In light of identity theory, it was posited that gay men are more likely to enact ‘straight-acting’ identities to fulfil their fundamental need to belong. This ‘ideal’ motivated many of the participants to manage their gay identities, depending on the contexts and the people they were with at different moments in time. Participants refrained from being ‘themselves’ at times, thinking that this will elicit opprobrium from the people around them, which brings to mind Cooley’s (1902) looking-glass theory. These findings demonstrate that in a patriarchal and heteronormative culture where femininity is stigmatised and heterosexuality is taken-for-granted, effeminate gay men are more prone to fear ridicule and discrimination. Being “different” elicits many negative emotions, many of which stem from the lack of positive queer role models.

Given the small sample size, this study does not claim to generalise its findings. While helping me to gain access to and better understand the participants’ experiences, my insider status created a potential for some level of bias in my interpretation. However, the scope of this study was to bring to light the challenges that the participants faced in negotiating their sexual identities. Through this research, I have thus tried to give the participants an opportunity to voice their own experiences and realities.