Mum ... dad ... I'm gay : homosexuals coming out to their parents

Abstract

This study explores the problems encountered by gay men and lesbians in their relationship with their parents when they express their sexuality, which is, coming out to them. Malta is still a very traditional society and this tends to make it difficult for the parents to accept their child's sexual orientation. On the other hand, parents are becoming more aware of the homosexual reality and therefore, this may lead to more acceptance in our society today. Moreover, parents tend to have high expectations for their children and this may impact on their acceptance or otherwise of the child's sexual orientation and may affect their relationship after disclosure. A qualitative approach was used since coming out to parents is a sensitive issue for homosexuals. My research is based on the experiences of fourteen interviewees, seven gay men and seven lesbians from both Malta and Gozo, and considers the problems in the interviewees' relationship with the parents when they come out to them. The study concludes that the better the relationship before the coming out, the better the relationship after the coming out, although for the majority of the respondents, the relationship with the parents worsens during the coming out process. Something interesting is that the respondents' stated that since communication was present in the relationship between parent and child, the relationship after disclosure was reinforced. Those who before the coming out already had a bad relationship, ended up with a very bad relationship. The males' relationship with their mothers is better than the females' relationship with theirs. Moreover, the relationship before the coming out process for male participants with their fathers' was generally a better one that of from the female participants with their fathers.